MindVsHeart
by GothicLolita333
Summary: A story about love ways to make people fall in love, ordinary people, crazy, weird, terrified, false, but still... love has her own ways to make people possessive,jealous and well... fall in love. finally SasuNaru, NejiGaara and others.
1. Chapter1:First day, first annoyed

I know that I did start another story and put just the first chapter and I promise will be a success and it's a drama and what a drama! But I get this idea too so it's still fresh so I had to write it. It's beautiful comedy and an exited one…if I could tell…a pervy one…a good one…can't wait to say that too when I will write the next chap so if you want something for the name of the Lord…Review!

Mind VS. Heart 

Chapter 1: First day, first annoyed 

_I just walked in and nobody point attention to me…I stayed at the odd cashier by four minutes and he just say, sit down on that chair and don't move. I done it…but suddenly I've been called.  
_"_Hey! You, Blondie come here."  
It was an odd room as well, kind of the inventor room of the shop, I was there to apply for the job, to help people to get clothes, to pick them, to hold the clothes for them, to say my opinion and stuff like that. But somehow…it didn't felt good being there for the job…_

"Nice to meet you. My name is Uzumachi Naruto and I come for…"

_I was cut off._

"I know what you came !"  
_The old woman yells as lauder as she could and a tall, black hair and black eyes come in front of me._

"Now,Naturo…"  
"Naruto."  
"Whatever, tell me, do you fell attracted to him?"  
_That was the stupidest question I ever been asked…not to mention about it but how could I've missed it cause it was obviously and not to mention god my name is Naruto not Naturo!  
_"Obviously not!"  
"Are you sure?"  
"Of course I am sure."  
"You aren't lying?"  
_Now I lost nerve. The guy was standing there bored and more that I say no and no and hell no he gets interested…now that is fucking weird!  
_"I am sorry to be mean but he is a guy for God's sake! Pardon me but I am a guy too if you haven't see that!"  
_I almost yell, but fucking God, why would I've been attracted to him?  
_"Are you so sure about it?"  
_Now I am pissed off like hell._

"I am the must fucking sure I am not attracted to this guy, for the name of the Lord, I am strait!"  
_Now …everyone that is 20 km away from me can hear my voice saying that I am strait….that won't hire me, no?  
_"You're hired."  
_Pass out already._

"What? But the CV. And the in…"  
"Doesn't matter, welcome boy .Sasuke will help you organizes and get used to it. Now excuse me but I have some work to do with some papers. Good luck."  
_And she goes…two minutes, the back door and I am left with a creepy guy in a creepy room, I know that this shop sells some of creepy clothes too, have a normal side that is like for all the people …like normal and a side with emo, dark, rock, puck, metal, gothic clothes. And I don't mind but still I think I know why that clothes are there when I look at him…_

"Well….why…"  
_I didn't even finish three words and I am already sick of being cut off._

"You have been working before in a cloths shop?"

"Well…yes."  
"Good, then you know what to do. If you get into trouble, I get intro trouble, if you want something don't bother me, ask Gaara ,the cashier and if you get intro trouble, I will punish you and no one else, even so I will be by the principal, so don't get into or you will regret."

_And he gets outside too. Now I am not just nervous and pissed off but this shop is not just weird and the most annoying people I ever known! And if I think of it, I shopped here two or three times…and I don't remember someone so….I don't know ….such impossible people! And this is supposed to be my first day…and for real I don't want to know what will happen in the next three minutes!  
_


	2. Chapter2:Cigarettes and mint all over me

Chap 2…let's make it chilly to make sure I capture your interest: D (I know I am evil) Finally..spicy things!

Chapter 2: Cigarettes and mint all over me

"Hello…You must be Gaara…right?"  
"Eh…You are wearing our uniform and you are still here… then you are hired …how that happened, may I know your highness?"

_Now it begins with him too. I really need that money or I will get out of my apartment and I don't have where to go! And here is the only place I can hire and have the money I need for the end of the month and I fell like a normal human in a crazy hospital where obviously everyone is crazy!...if I think about it …It would be better there…_

"Well…from the start…I am fucking strait."  
_I can hear myself….f the irritation of my voice, if he didn't, then he is deaf._

"Doesn't matter. I suppose she asked you 20 times before hiring you...some guys become gay because of that guy…it's not his fault cause he never even speak with one of them, I would know, somebody would but he just didn't even cared but still… they begun to act weird just because of him ignore them so much…and "madam „doesn't fired him cause we have hundreds of customers because of it and believe me…he is paid more than he is supposed to be…"  
"But…ok…I understand he is, he is… but what the fuck is with this guy?"  
"Don't know really…we don't talk too much, or just essential but you really don't think you gonna fall for him?"  
_He raises an invisible eyebrow kind of saying „You really think that? Or you play theatre all day long?"  
_"Well…let me think…I am fucking sure of it."  
_Yell and yell and still it's like I am whispering because it's like nobody hears me!_

"Blondie! Get back to work!"  
_He just talked to me, didn't yell or anything, just talk but the tone of his voice pisses me off, and work with who am I…Fuck._  
"Sasuke, can you bring me that pink skirt I seen in the right corner, right beside that blue skirt with flowers on?"  
_Now…I am creeping out._

"Blondie will get it for you, am I right?"  
_He was behind me and I didn't even notice… I was pushed and rushed to get that fucking pink skirt to a…_

"Hello, you must be new. I never seen you before, what's your name?"  
"Naruto…"  
"Doesn't matter, my name is Haruno Sakura so remember it, ah…but Sasuke wasn't supposed to bring it to me?"  
"Well, he was called by someone else so…"

_Am I lying for that guy?  
_"He always runs away from me and I don't know why…"  
_If I could yell right now, wouldn't help at all; get a mini-mini-mini-min pink skirt for a pink head or more pink heir or pink missing brain!  
_"Can I do something else for you?"  
"Well…bring Sasuke and I will give you a kiss."  
"No thanks, I will try to bring Sasuke without a kiss."

_Kiss my pinky ass. Now...I know, not only the employers and the principal are nuts, the ones that shop here too!_

"Sasuke!"  
_Where the fuck did he go? And why it is this room kind of having such a little light…Am I smelling something like…I don't know…cigarettes?(I get the curtain a little to see what's in there and I've been pulled on the ground with the speed of light and I was inside the curtain but no one see in thru and it's just me and…)  
_"Wha…"

_He puts a hand on my mouth and being on top of me with a cigarette on his other hand._

"Don't scream and I will take my hand off, ok?"  
_I nod my head like –yes- and so he does…still on top of me and it fells fucking weirdo._

"One, get fucking off of me and two why did you have done that and three get fucking off!"  
_He put his hand again to can't speck or breathe and I was useless with my hands under him, and he is much stronger that I am and for real…can't move at all!_

"Don't tell anyone that I am smoking because she will yell at me like hell again,and that is why I stopped you telling something that I will kill you for and I will get off when I will finish the cigar cause I am very comfortable right now and plus you said number 1 twice."  
_Now he thinks that he is smart? What the fuck it is with this jerk. One minute he is cool and mister girl and boys perfect match and don't bother me and don't make me trouble or I will kill you and now he is the one on top of me under a fucking curtain in the inventory room where it's full of things and boxes that can get in fire in a min and I think that's why he isn't supposed to smoke but still he gets off his hand finally._

"Can't you finish it quicker?"  
"Uncomfortable?"  
"Well…in the matter of fact I am. You are sitting on me and I can't move and we still have to get that pinky Sakura girl that can't wait to see her precious Sasuke to see her in a pink skirt(it that could be named skirt)!"  
_My tone was more than sarcastic and more than annoyed and anyone could tell that._

"That it's all that make you uncomfortable?"  
"Would be more things but I just want to get rid of those in this minutes or close at least."  
"And you really don't think you are attracted to me, hn…"  
_He smirks like-yeah right-and I just get pissed more…_

"Why in the fact would I even get attracted to you? I don't even like or want you as a friend, attracted it's out of the question."  
"Hn..Really?"  
"Really!"  
_I Was getting more and more pissed off, and he just smokes that cigarettes so slow just to annoy me more and I don't think I can take more annoying things right now!  
_"What do you hate so much about me, if you just met me?"  
"Well it takes three seconds; let me think about it…"  
_He really listen what I was saying, still on top of me, and smoking more slower than anyone that ever smoked one …fucking…. cigarette!  
_"You are such a knowing all and everybody like's you but I am not like that and I really hate people _like you,that are so beautiful and skilled by nature and didn't need to do nothing for it!"  
It was the whole truth…I really do hate those people and he was one of them, it wasn't hard to figure out…and still I hate him from all my being cause he doesn't care and still acting so cool about it cause he fells superior to me and he isn't superior over nothing!_

_He doesn't speaks and finally finish the cigarette, after 10 years!  
_"You really hate me huh?"  
"Yeah I do, and if you finished your fucking cigarette, get fucking off of me!"  
_I try to move one inch…and I move……..nothing._

"Get off!..."  
"If you really do hate me this much and I make you so uncomfortable then you won't be so upset if I make you more uncomfortable, huh?"

Now I am getting more pissed. If that could be possible…

"More uncomfortable? Believe me, you can't. I already hate you to death so.."_Again cut off._  
"Really?"  
_Now I am so pissed!_  
"Really!"_ I yelled that.._

"Let me judge that."  
_He just comes over…he didn't need much space after all, being on top of me, on the middle of my body, somewhere where I couldn't move not either my legs or my hands, not even my head cause all I can do is to put it lower on the floor, or move nothing, and when he comes over me more…keeping my hands with his…not much cause I didn't expect this at all…I couldn't move at all…I couldn't breathe at al…or think …cause his mouth catch my breath, my lips, after a few seconds…my tongue….my voice that was trying to push him, everything tries to push him away but he just gets over me completely, blockading all I could do, and moving his tongue into my mouth somehow he obligates my tongue to move with his and I didn't even wanted to do that…and suddenly I couldn't move…suddenly I couldn't keep my eyes open…suddenly the smell of cigarettes and mint was all over me…._


	3. Chapter3:What just happened?

Ok, chap 3 and it's an interesting one...and one that will tell you much about the next ones, so be attentive to the details …but God, I swear, if you want to continue just 1%then God Review or I won't post and for real I swear!

"**Naruto!"  
**_**I found myself thinking again, and Gaara, yelling at me constantly cause I just stay with some clothes in my hands and don't move, not even a bit, not moving at all, looking down and thinking or more…dreaming, no, more of remembering…**_

"**Hey Dobe! Work already!"**

_**He just puts his hand on my head and I almost jump, I could see in his eyes that he knows why I act like that…after that thing, after that…I don't know, scene I just find myself wondering and shaking and thinking, dreaming, remembering ,not obeying a simple conversation, and the stupidest thing is that if he talked with me…I was so attentive and more of his lips not at his words and that is the craziest and the most wrong thing that can happen to me.**_

**Chapter 3: What just happened?**

"**Teme, you are so annoying."**

_**And I am the most shameless person on this planet! That was all that I could say and now I am walking to a little…fat lady that is trying so dresses for god knows what man that was inviting her to dinner or something like that…cause the rest of the story…I didn't heard.**_

"**You think this dress looks better?"  
"It is very beautiful."  
"That is what you said about last one too."  
**_**This woman put 22 dresses in our hands, me and Sasuke that was right beside me and I just couldn't be attentive on that woman, I didn't cared, but Sasuske didn't either and then I realized …he was looking at me with a expression I can't understand…something like-what the fuck are you thinking the whole day?-**_

_**In the matter of fact …of yesterday cause after that weird and ….no more adjectives, kiss anyway he then tried to kiss my neck and his hands everywhere…I didn't sleep, I did eat and much I could say but think in the same time so in the matter of fact, if you ask me what I did eat…I can't even remember. All I do is robotically and it's a problem that Sasuke begins to observe and if he figures out that I just think of yesterday …and the most annoying thing is that he is acting very normal, nothing happened …after when he tried to do more than kissing, I manage, more like flying…running or anything but get him off and the door was the only thing I could see and then I stay the hole day with the pink heir cause Sasuke didn't want to come near her so I just stay with her and acting …smiles and talking and for real…the only thing that annoy more than her presence…"You know you are really sweet but my heart belongs to Sasuke,so I am sorry if I do hurt your feelings."I stayed with her all day to don't face Sasuke and she understands that I like her and I have to deny all day that and she just said „You don't have to be shy" And all I can think is that girl needs to go to a hospital and I don't know if she is crazy or not but I hate her and I hate Sasuke more**_**(if that could be possible)!**

"**Good work Naruto,you are a dead walker."**

_**It was the end of the day and Gaara speak with me, more like he talking me watching in a point that doesn't even exists. But after him seeing that I don't response or move anyhow, he walks outside saying bye and somehow I said bye but not even looking at him, knowing that he leaves after I hear the door.**_

_**I was in the inventory room and I manage to sit on a chair and put my head in my hands, like my head hurts but it does...Thinking all day isn't healthy.**_

"**Hey,teme!"**

_**That was the only sound that could make me look up and attentive,facing know staying in front of me, on his knees or kind off cause I am on a chair and he wanted to stay on the same level with me or something like that.**_

"**Are you ok?"  
**_**He is worried about me?**_**  
"Why wouldn't I be ok?"  
"Let me see, you looked like you are on another planet all day."  
**_**That make sense but still his face is so close to mine…why I think I am…**_

"**You are blushing?"  
**_**It isn't much light in this room or it is today and I don't know why but he sees that I am blushing…he is 2 mm to me so that must be…**_

"**What the fuck are you saying? I am not."  
"You are."  
**_**I look another way but still on the chair…he rises a hand and take my chin to take my head to face his, being on the same level or he being a little up just to be sure he has a tentative expression like-you can't think of something else like me, eh?- and that for him is a gold victory.**_

"**Sasu…"  
"Sh…"**

_**He just closes his eyes a little and leans his head a little and you shouldn't have to be a genius to figure out what he wanted to do next but I just couldn't move but all I said,dispite the fact that his lips are 1 mm far from mine.**_

"**Stop."  
**_**Still…we speak in the same position.**_

"**Why?"  
"Cause it's not right."  
"Hn…because you hate me?"  
**_**We are so close that I can fell his breathe on my lips…making all so tempting…if two minutes ago I was blushing…now I think that my face is already burning in red.**_

"**That too but because you are a guy and I am a guy too."  
"And that didn't stop you to think of me all day."  
**_**Now I did move, get up and look another way.**_

"**I didn't, I was thinking of something else."  
**_**He gets up to and putting his hands together like –I don't buy that shit for nothing in the world**_**-**

"**I wasn't born yesterday."  
"But I didn't."  
**_**I say it quick wanting to continue but he just didn't want to hear more lies and changing his tome with something serious.**_

"**If you think I didn't think of you today, you are wrong and if you really believe that the gender is such a big mistake of nature, it's your problem, cause I don't have any problem with it and to say the truth, I don't understand why you are so concerned about it but still I can rape you so finish with the fucking annoying over thinking cause you are fucking annoying."  
**_** So he walks away, when I hear the word rape, I was blushing …and when I heard the end of his conclusion …I just become sad and look down…**_

_**I get home after that but sincerely …I was a bit down…ok more down…with my moral cause for real now…his words cut thru my chest. I know what he was saying, I know what he wants to say and he is right but I was suppose to hate him and now I act like I really do like him…that is crazy …I hate him! I hate that jerk! I hate him! I really do hate him! I…**_

**It's a line It's a line Here it's a line so get used to it cause here it's a line it's a line it's a line line line **

_**Next day, mourning, breakfast but no sleep all night long…so my face looks like I am more than dead…I didn't sleep one night and I look like I didn't slept one year.**_

**Work **

"**God morning Gaara."  
"Good morning Naruto."  
**_**He was at the cashier place as usual and morning I was still walking towards, trying to find him with my eyes cause we need to put some clothes on and change the shoes today so…much work in the morning.**_

"**Where is he?"  
"In the inventory room, he searches for shoes."**

"**Thanks."  
**_**I get in to find him looking at me like-You slept so well that you have that face?-**_

_**Ignoring his expression, I talked first.**_

"**Good morning."  
"Good morning."  
**_**He response like bored and sit on the chair that was on my left, a little far, I can say and look at some notebook and I try to get some of a shoe I know we should get out and it was a little more up than me…**_

"**Ouch."  
**_**I think that 300 boxes of shoes are now on me and I am under them and Sasuke comes quick and try to get the shoes and boxes off of me and to find me…somehow this year…and find out if I am alive.**_

"**Naruto!"**

"**Alive."  
"What the fuck are you doing?"  
**_**I was still covered up with boxes and shoes everywhere…I try to get up but figure out that I can't…**_

"**My leg."  
"Does it hurts?"  
"A little"  
**_**I try to get up…and didn't work at all and he help me…putting me on the chair and getting my foot and pressing his fingers on parts on my ankle to see where it hurts.**_

"**Here?"  
"Nope."  
"Here it hurts?"  
"A bit."  
"Here?"  
"Auch."  
"I suppose that is a yes. I don't know in what kind of miracle you twisted your ankle but I think when the boxes fall on you, you most supported your weigh on your foot so you twisted your ankle, when you suddenly fall."  
**_**I think it makes sense, but still my ankle hurts.**_

"**Gaara!"  
**_**He yells and Gaara yells back.**_

"**Yes."  
"Bring some bandage and some ice bag from the shop next to us, quick."  
"Ok."**

_**I was wondering why he makes such a fuss about it but then he talks before I could say something.**_

"**Try to keep your leg strait, put it on my leg "**

_**He stays somehow…I don't know where is the chair of tomorrow but this one is much smaller, and somehow, he stays in his knees and he is much taller than I am, standing on this (very)short chair.**_

"**Here."  
**_**Gaara comes breathing hard, I think he was running, knowing that something happened if he asked bandage and asked what happened, Sasuke said that I twisted my ankle and he gets outside to open**__**himself the shop, nobody comes such early, cause it's Wednesday so much of the people are at work or school, so as I know from Gaara,on Sunday is living hell.**_

"**Keep it strait."  
"Oh…Sasuke …"  
"Huh?"  
**_**He was concentrate there, on my ankle, putting the bag of ice on it and with bandage to hold my ankle and the ice as well and when I said Sasuke he didn't rise his attention from it but when I continue…he looks at me questioning.**_

"**I am sorry."  
"For what?"  
"Well…you know…you don't need to do that."  
"Its ok."  
"No…I am more sorrier for what happened yesterday."  
"Hn…that's why you didn't slept?"  
"How you…"  
"Well, you look like that, or I am not right?"  
"I just couldn't…"  
"Dobe...you don't have to stay awake all night to prove me that you are sorry."  
"But I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to prove I am sorry staying awake."  
"So...How do you want to prove me that you are sorry?"  
**_**I never said anything like…-I want to prove I am sorry and I will do anything-but somehow the conversation went like I have to do something to prove him I am sorry…Jerk..**_

"**I ...Don't know…I never said that…How..I..."  
**_**I was bumbling everything…and I couldn't think of anything to say…cause saying-I never said I wanted to do something to prove that I am sorry-it's like-I sorry but I won't do nothing so deal with it-so I shut up very quick looking down.**_

"**I know."**

"**How?"  
**_**He finished with that ice and bandage and snap somehow playful my ankle and put it down.**_

"**Ouch, still hurts, teme!"  
**_**I then realize that it was a wall behind gets up and somehow he bends toward me and put his right hand on the wall to show I can't move…and the ankle is another thing I can't move and the other one on my face.**_

"_**Well…you aren't so silly to can't figure out what I want you to do to prove that you are sorry."  
I think a minute and come out blink and the same position again…1 mm distance from him to me and from me to him and still why do I fell blushing and all, and he fells totally cool with it? Oh…I know, because I am an idiot!**_

"**I don't…"  
"Hm…you don't so I have to say what I want no?"  
**_**What he wants…what he wants …now…I feel like I am on the gate of the heaven and God asks me –You are pure?-and I am like-It means something wrong if I am doing it with a boy? Not with a girl-now I blink three times, at the idea.**_

"**What about a date with me?"  
**_**Me,date,with him?This words just don't want to get inside my mind like something normal…just…are you serious?**_**  
"Well.."  
**_**I just couldn't say yes but no…will make him mad at me and I don't know why I can't say none of them.**_

"**Fine, so it's settled. Friday night are you free?"  
"Yes…I guess…"  
"Hn…"  
**_**He smirks and kiss me…my head on the wall and his hands on my back,somehow to don't rut my back or I don't know…and then he rises…and somehow smiles and get out saying:**_**  
"I will talk with Madame, you can take off today cause you can't will take you home. See ya tomorrow."**

_**And he gets out ,and I was still looking at the door, having a expression of –what the hell-and all I could say and all I could think off…was…**_

"**What just happened?"**

Don't forget to review!


	4. Chapter4:Loyalty test

Oke…so this is chapter 6…who wants to kill me for not uploading can do it but I can kill you too because I don't have reviews so ha ha! I am sorry but I hope you are too because I am really sad. So again thanks for reading but sad for not knowing your opinion but now the chapter is here…It isn't what I wanted to do first or the second or the third time or…It didn't finished the entire idea but here it's a mood and an emotion and what I want to do next is something with a very different emotion and feeling …you will get it after but here is something you should know and captivating and shocking moments! : D (Yeah I am evil). People are crazy about kissing (I am too so…) Thanks for reading.

Chapter 6: Loyalty test

As Sasuke said…Gaara is beside me, driving me home. What was on my mind…what was bothering me the most is that when Gaara finally came to "pick me up" …In that moment I was wondering where Sasuke is, that wasn't normal…but he just asked me for a date… didn't he? THEN WHY IS GAARA THE ONE THAT IS TAKING ME HOME? …now I am the one crazy…

"Hey…Gaara?"  
"Yes."  
"Where did Sasuke leaved after he talked to you?"

"I don't know… home?"  
"Hm..."  
I wasn't thinking clearly...I was annoyed! Home? And who was waiting for him to come home that he was rushing so hard? I am jealous? I am nuts!

"Why are you asking?"  
"Well…" caught off guard.

Why? Because I've become a total HOMO! That's why! No…this can't be possible …I won't go to that date! I won't! I don't want him near me! I don't want to see him! Look at him! Talk to him! Touch him… Kiss him…HELL NO!

"Well?"  
"I just asked, what's so bad about it?"  
"You blushed just a moment ago…you said you aren't in love with him but …I guess that you are like everybody else that is around him…and I thought you were…"  
"That I am …what…?"  
"Never mind."  
"Oh come on! When you start saying something…finish it!"

"We arrived."  
"Gaara… tell me..."  
"What?"  
"The rest…what …tell me…I can take it…please…?"

"I… don't get me wrong but I …I thought you aren't like all the boys that are… drooling over him… I thought you are different but you aren't ….you…. I thought you were special and… I am sorry but even if he will fall in love with you…it won't…"  
"Work?"

I know that all his words…and even the tone of his voice…it was low and he stopped at every "accusation", he was so sincere just because he looked hurt by his own words…like he talked with himself…I know…they all loved him…boys and girls… and I am the same…this time he made me to…fell like this but maybe I am not the only one that he done this …thing. Gaara had seen them, had watched Sasuke…and even if they don't speak too much or not at all about it….you don't have to be a genius to figure it out.

The thing that hurts the most is that I thought that I was different….when I came in the first day and all they asked was if I was attracted to him… and I yelled my lungs out seeing no… now… I know… I am not different… not special…I am like everybody and he will push me away…and I fell sorry because he is the lonely one…not me...he is…

"Naruto?"  
"…Yes…"  
"I am sorry if I …"  
"No…it's alright ..."  
"No…I meant it… I shouldn't …"  
"Hey… you told me what you think and you are right…"  
"Come on…I have to get you in your apartment …"

He parked the car in front of the block. He walked outside the car…walking until he reached my side of the car and helped me get up of the seat…I wasn't really attentive of what he was doing … if I fall… if I don't….I don't care what happens …I fell empty.

"Naruto? … Naruto? ….Naruto!"  
"...Yes!"  
"We are in the front of the door…"  
"And?"  
"The key?"  
"Oh yeah..."

If he didn't yelled… I wouldn't notice… and I act very stupid but…what can I do? And this leg is very annoying! Why did I have to move that box?

I opened the door and he helped me to get inside and in some …minutes…we get inside my room, I was on my bed, finally!  
"You know…it would have been much easier if you would've used some strength and didn't let me carry you all the way…"

"Sorry…"  
"No problem. Well…I have to go...so…"  
"You really want to? It's late and it's already dark outside… you can sleep here."  
He looked at me thinking, with a weird expression on his face and then I go back to what we talked in the car…

"Hey! I am not suggesting anything! I just…"  
"I know…its ok but I don't think is such a good idea…""  
"Come on! I am innocent and it's already dark…"  
"Fine but I am sleeping on the couch."  
"Why? You are a guest. My couch is as hard as rock!"  
"You need more space and more comfort than because of your ankle, I am not the injured here. "  
"True, but…"

"Without buts, now, sleep."  
Now…it had to happen…why me?  
"I will… but I have to go to the bathroom…"  
"Oh… god…you will kill me one day."  
I tried to get up but I did it too fast and he was at the door, almost in the other room and couldn't make it that fast …and when I realized and when I remembered that my leg hurts so much was when I put it down like I could walk with no problem but it was a problem because it hurts and I couldn't stand up and when Gaara tried to help me…I felled over him.

"Naruto…get up."  
"Sorry…"

It was weird …I could get up but we just stayed there…even if we said those words…we looked at each other and he didn't moved and I didn't either…none of us was moving and that was bad…  
When I realized…I quickly tried to get up but my arms were not moving…he forced my arms to stay still with his and to don't get up…then I fell shocked!

"Gaara…what are you…"  
Then I get it…I wished it was a dream…but Gaara wanted to kiss me because he was pushing himself up to my head and my head down to his …and then I get up! Quick like something was pulling me up, I didn't care if my leg will hurt…I won't let this happen!

When I got myself up…all I managed to do is to fall back, standing on the edge of the bed and looking at him…somehow… like…-What the hell is wrong with you?-

He get up and then he sit beside me…

"Noruto…I am sorry but I must have told you that I am..."  
"You are gay? You are gay too?"  
"Well…I am like you…"  
"No you are not …I am not…"  
"You are in love with a guy and I am too. It doesn't mean that we are gay…we are just in love…and it happens to be…"  
"You are in love with Sasuke?"  
I was holding my breath waiting for an answer but he quickly gave it to me.

"No. God! No! I am in love with somebody else. You don't know him…we just…kind of broke up yesterday or kind of…"  
"Wait a minute…if you are in love with him then why did you tried…?"  
"I wouldn't have kissed you Naruto; I wanted to see if you are gay or if you are truly in love with him, I would've stopped, I just wanted to see if you would accept. But you didn't so…you are not like everybody, I am glad you stopped. You really are special."  
I couldn't believe my ears…for some seconds I really thought that he may be in love with me or worse with Sasuke! And I thought he will really kiss me but he was testing me and more…I wasn't the only one tested …he did this with others… but they all failed?

"You test others too?"  
"We may not seem like it…but me and Sasuke know much about each other and we don't need to talk to know what each other thinks or does."  
"But…how…"

"Well…he was my classmate since kindergarten."

"Wow… and now you work with him and…all...How … you and him …aren't …"I stopped but he continued my sentence.  
"That we aren't together? Well…as I said I am in love with somebody else and I am not his type and not to mention that all that happened… to have just one friend to can count on is more important , believe me."  
"Wow…Gaara you are awesome!"  
I know that I looked hilarious because I was staring at him with puppy eyes and not to mention that I looked very impressed but I was …I couldn't believe my ears … Even if I don't really know why I am so agitated about…

But that remembered me…I really need to go to the bathroom.

"Gaara…?"  
"Yes?"  
"Could you help me to get to the bathroom? I really need to go there…"  
"Fine but I just help you get there…I won't help you with anything else!"  
"Hell no!" 

Mourning 

I was tired but my clock woke me up quick… so it was mourning and I was still asleep in some way but I got up pretty soon when I heard something moving outside my room…in two seconds …somebody walked in.

Who the…?  
"Morning Naruto! Ugh …"  
I was on the ground…I was so scared that a thief is in my house that I forgot that I asked Gaara to sleep at me and I felled down when I tried to get up the bed to yell or to run or something but I forgot that my ankle can't get better just after one night…ok… I forgot about my ankle too…

"What are you doing on the ground?"  
"I am searching for a secret passage, what do you think I am doing on the ground?"

"I bring coffee, Sherlock."  
"Ha! You are so funny Watson! Now help me… "

"You found the secret passage?"

He is so ironical but I still can't get up!  
"Yes! And It's named: Stop joking and help me get up!"

Don't forget to review. What you think will happen? You really believed Gaara or he is acting cool because he doesn't wants to break the friendship with Naruto? Will Naruto go on his date? Will Sasuke come? Will Gaara have Neji back? Who cheats who? Will someone die? Come on just review or you may wander forever (Muhahahaha!)


	5. Chapter5:Paralyzed by the fear of losing

_**This is chap 5 and it's about Garaa and ….read to find out (I know I am evil) .It's from Garaa's preview and it's a little funny at the start and then romantic and then a little drama...I am sorry about the drama part but this is how it turned out so hope you will enjoy and please…review or I won't write .I am very serious right now. And sorry if are grammar mistakes and things like that but I didn't have time to reread it …I have to go to the hospital …I am sorry if you don't understand some parts even if I tried to be very correct and at the subject so please forgive and spare me…**_

_**Chapter 5: Paralyzed by the fear of losing **_

_**My phone rings loud and much and I am too lazy to pick it up…That table it's too far from my chair….All I want to do is sleep..**_

_**After 15 minutes**_

"**Garaa! If you are there open the damn door! Garaa!**

_**What is he doing here? And why does he keep knocking at my door hard and loud! Annoying…**_

"**Coming."  
**

_**I was tired as hell…I stayed all night awake looking at horror movies…knowing that today is off at work for me so I don't have anything to do but sleep…and I want to sleep but he has to come here and act like a total idiot that he is! **_

"**Oh! Good! Why didn't you pick up your phone? I called you for 56 times and I thought that something happened to you! You want me to have a heart attack?"**

_**He was breathing hard…he run to arrive here quickly and now he is tired as hell…**_

"**Well…I was sleeping…And I know that the phone called but I didn't think it was you or that you will think that something bad happened..."**

_**Well…I fell a little guilty because he looks exhausted because of me but…I didn't do it intentionally …**_

"**Why are you sleeping at this hour? It's three in the afternoon already!"**

"**I didn't sleep and I am tired."**_**  
He looks very attentive and serious at me and then talked and said just stupid things…**_

"**Wait…you didn't answer because you didn't know it was me and though that someone else called but me and you didn't sleep all night and you are tired…tell me that you didn't…" **

"**Did what?"**

_**What he thinks I've done? Why is he so scared with that face…now he looks angry …WHAT THE FUCK? **_

"**I am sorry if I understand wrong but did you…could you …I mean…"**_**  
He bumbles his words and looks at me suspect …waiting for me to make some kind of expression and I gave him nothing until now cause I have no idea what he is thinking about and I am too tired to think about it…**_

"**Did I what? What are you saying?"  
"It's someone at you?"  
"No. Why?"**_**  
He gets in my apartment without even asking if he can come in and why would someone be there? Don't tell me that he thinks that I….I will fucking kill him! **_

_**He slowly goes to my bed and gets off the blanket like someone suppose to be under it...It looked weird but I am annoyed as hell that he even thinks that for a second!**_

"**Neji…Stop it!"**_**  
He looks all over the apartment and then stops looking at me…**_

"**Why are you torturing me? I've done something wrong? I know that I am busy because of my family and you didn't want to do it with me and now you are doing it with some random guy? Who is he anyway? Are you upset at me? What? Why?"  
**_**He looks very concerned and very convinced about his new discovery but I can't be more than annoyed about this fucking not true discovery!  
"**_**Neji, I will tell this just once...I didn't slept with nobody and I am not breaking up with you and I didn't cheat you and I am not upset that you have to stay with your family more than you stay with me .Ok?"**_**  
He looks at me for a second and put his hand on his head…turns around ,making a pirouette if you can say that and then comes at me ,putting his hands on my shoulders and grabbing hard my T-shirt. **_

"**You are not lying?" **

"**No .I am not lying. Why did you even think that?"  
"Because you didn't sleep all night and you look tired and didn't answer to the phone…" **

"**I looked at horror movies; you know that I do that when I have a free night to waste! And I was sleeping and tired and I think that somebody from work called to annoy me and to don't enjoy my free day, it wasn't because it was you!"  
**_**I yelled a little or raise my voice a little but why does he think I would even do that…**_

"**I am sorry…I didn't mean to…"  
**_**He hugs me and says that he is sorry for 5 times already. When he let go I walk all over the room to reach my bed and I can say it is very comfortable…**_

_**He comes to my bed and plays with my hair…**_

"**Aren't you suppose to go back and say that nobody died or things like that?"  
"No…I don't care what they believe but I am not leaving you…  
"Why?"**_**  
It was kind of stupid to ask why because it's obviously that he wants to stay here but I am tired and I am boring for him right now and after what he said …I don't have the mod or the energy to talk with him…**_

"**I can't sleep beside you…can I ?"  
**_**He just said…sleep beside…not perverted things…he must have drink something…**_

"**Why would you…"  
"Because I want to stay with you and I don't want to disturb you in the same time…So …again…You let me?"  
"Well…Yes …but without perverted things…"  
"Get it…but…"**_**  
He waits for me to ask back...**_

"**But what?"  
"I can have a kiss from you before we sleep? An innocent sleep of course…"**_**  
He was so irresistible with that low and caring voice that I didn't even answered but let him free space for him to can kiss me…and so he goes …putting himself on top of me and starting to kiss my neck and then goes to my mouth …being so gentle and so slow that I can say that he tries to be romantic but I would ruin the moment complaining about something I like…**_

_**After a couple of pecks on my lips he adds his tongue and I start to enjoy the taste more and more until I felt bad that he stopped to look at me…I would ask why did he stopped but I know that the reason it's all my fault …I told him that if he loves me as he says and if he really wants to be with me…well…he has to live with temptations for his whole life! I made a deal with him and he promised that if he gets too... exited and begins to do stuff I don't like or wants more than kissing and touching …a little touching of course! That has to be clear…he can go to hell and never come back to me if he doesn't respects that.**_

_**But the problem is that I never think that I become to live with temptation in my life and I can say that it's a living hell .I thought that he would be the only one that has to fell this temptation that is burning me but I am living with that and with the blame that it's all my fault in the same time…**_

_**He looks at me very innocent and then begins to speak…**_

"**You don't fell a thing…do you?"**

_**I swallowed hard like I just eat something I don't like and it was damn big…and then talked because I don't know where this conversation is going and he is too close…no way I will blush…no fucking chance!**_

"**About what?"**

"**About me…I know what you've said but how can you resist…if you like me a little bit …how can you…just…"  
**_**We've been together for six months for now and it had been hard with every week that passed and sometimes we fight and argue because he begins to strip me and kiss me all over and I can't stop him…I can't stop myself either...I don't want him to stop but after that …he begins to do mere and I know where he wants to get to and no way will I let him! **_

_**I make his life a living hell because I am not nice with him and I can resist a whole week without him even if it's just pride because I miss him but then he comes back and I win and he lose and still I felt guilty every time I let my pride win not my hear. And I am ironic with him and negativist and do stupid things and not to mention that I say things that hurts him and tell him to go because I am sick of him staying with him sometimes..He didn't leave my house for a whole month and he already begin to be annoying and obsessed with me! I don't know why it's bothering me so much but if I sleep with him now or anytime soon…how bad I act with him and how I act and all me…he will become to get bored of me and he will leave me because of my behavior and he will stop coming back at me and apologizing and trying to make me feel good and….he will leave me alone and never come back…and I don't know why but I don't want that…I just don't.**_

"**I fell but I…"**_**  
I don't know how to continue …it's like I am lying because I never told him what I think…The truth is that he excites me very quick and hard and I would rip his clothes off of him sometimes but…I know that will ruin everything…**_

"**But what? But you don't?"  
"Not everything resumes to sex!"  
"It's not that…you're not attracted to me and I am fucking so attracted to you that I want to fuck you like hell sometimes and you don't let me and I don't want to annoy you but I really do want you…not sex but love and I fell like you are afraid of something and I don't know what are you afraid of and you won't tell me a word about what you fell…I am the only one that says I love you and all those things…you never said that you loved me and not to mention you never take my hand, I do it, never come to me, I do that , never called me, I do that, never kissed me ,I do that, never even hugged me, I do that! Why? I am not complaining but you don't love me…you are fucking playing with me!"**

_**He laugh at his own conclusion a little… it was like he was convincing himself that I don't love him not that he was convincing me that I don't show him that I even like him and he was right… the single time I said that I loved him it was when he was sleeping beside me and stopped ..we even drink a little and he was exited as hell but he stopped because he didn't want to lose me and we fight a little and then said to sleep and hugged me all night and then …I said "I love you" and it was in the middle of the night and it was because he said it and I couldn't when he was awake but he didn't heard me anyway…I promised myself I won't ever say I love you again but he thinks I don't love him because I never say it!...And now ….he looks sad…and waits for me to say a word and I don't know how to defense myself after this attack …I don't know what to say… what he say it wasn't true but if I say what he wants' me too say…it means that I will sleep with him and all those stuff and more and say that I love him and I just can't…**_**  
"Almost 100 percent of what you've said it's true but that doesn't mean that I don't…**_**."**_

"_**You don't what?"  
I couldn't say it…It just doesn't get out of my mouth so I will say something close to it...but before I paid attention to him ..He speaks and underline what I should say to be sure that I will and I just wanted him to forget the end of my sentence but he just didn't…**_

"**Please… don't…"**_**  
I close my eyes at the pain that was growing in my chest… I could have said "That doesn't mean that I don't like you" but he just complained that I never said I love him and after 6 months of being together or maybe 8 because 2 months took for him to convince me to even be with him or talk with him or even kiss him for the first time at the month 3…I know it's crazy but I don't want my heart broken…again…**_

"**Please what? You can't even fucking say it…do you even like me? A little? After 6 months? You always say that I am torturing you and I do that because I stay with you or what? Because I love you and you don't?  
"No…that's not it."  
"Then what it is? Tell me…why are you so ignorant with me? Why? Do you even have a reason?"**_**  
I would tell him but I just don't and he comes close to me and takes off my hands that were on my face and he looks at me worried but annoyed and upset in the same time…and starts kissing me…this is the last exam I have to take…if I say stop…he leaves me …if I continue …he will leave me after…and he starts kissing my neck and biting and I just…I just make sounds …no… I can't …I can't…do it…no...Please stop…if I do it…I won't lose you now but if I don't…I will after…I will regret it? I will hate it? **_

"_**Neji…Ah..."  
I couldn't stop the ah cause…he was playing with my nipples and kissing all over and biting and I just could take it…it was burning…all my body and I couldn't think clearly …(I felt a little embarrassed at that moment but I was too concerned about **_**something else…**

"**Stop it…somehow…please….just stop…I don't want to lose you…but this is what you want …this is all you want from me? Why are you doing this?"**

_**In my sounds…I manage to say a sentence and he stopped everything…comes up and looks at me and then he close his eyes like he is in pain. Kisses my lips without even opening his mouth and then he stands up giving me just a peck on my lips… getting off the bed and gets his jacket and goes to the door…**_

"_**No! Don't go!"  
I said it….but it was too late…he already snaps the door and he is gone…he is gone forever …and it's all my fault…I should run after him but all I will do is to get back of what I've said ….I should run after him anyway but my mind doesn't want to give this order to my hands, legs …my heart doesn't fells alive…I just stay here…and I fell paralyzed because it's all about losing you and I already lost you by not trying and I know that you hate people like me..that don't even want to try but say no….and I know and I can't think more cause my head hurts but I am sure that I was so scared to lose you that I finally did it! Happy? I did…I am here all alone! Happy? Who am I talking with? I delirating already… Think clear for a second…It's just me…I… **_**paralyzed**___**by fear….How foolish this sounds…  
**_


	6. Chapter6:I hate quick decisions

**This is chapter 4 and it's not so funny, thoughts are still, a bit of romance and some confusing parts cause I wanted them to be like that :d and still I hate my computer but some words are cut off and it's not my fault! It's the computer or the program, I don't know but still not my fault! I can't do nothing about it…still the chap is not so long but not so short but hope you will enjoy it.**

**Chapter 4: I hate quick decisions **

**You know the situation when you really need to sleep,cause you didn't for two days and you are the kind of person that really…can't stay more than three days awake in that situation(if you are lucky three days,me …at the middle of the two …I am already passed out),but in the same time,I am so lucky that I didn't slept and it's ****Thursday**** and for some inexplicationable reason...tomarrow I have a date with...guess who? Oh ...I would say that I am on a date with a beautifull skinny long hair and beautifull eyes and all those grosy dousy stuff!But I am not!I am dating a guy and not just a random guy...I am dating Sasuke Uchiha...so that is kind of a problem when it comes to me cause I really don't know if I am gonna survive so....God bless me while I am alive and still (half or less) awake....Cause I didn't slep again...thinking at that stupid moments and the stupid ankle that is recovering so....I am not a masochist but it's still the fact that if I can't walk,I can't go and if I can walk ,I have to in this moment I am still like'please tell me that you will fall and brake it to be sure that until tomarrow I can't move'.It's not a verry good plan and the fact that I can't really walk,just as a sleep walker then God save me now.I have to do three steps and I am at for real...I just wanna skip today...hey...why I don't do that?In fact,I will sleep and then throw myself off the building and die and don't have to go to that stupid date!...wait..that's not right isn't it?  
**

**It's a line It's a line Here it's a line so get used to it cause here it's a line it's a line it's a line line line **

"**Let me think about it…Absolutely…"Smile,smile Naruto…smile."No."  
Now….I confused my work with the gate of heaven where I am refused to pass thru and have to go to Hell!**

"**But,why?"  
"Because this is a hard day and this is Garaa's day off and Sasuke can't take care of all!"**

"**But can't we just call him and tell him that I really don't fell right...Please?"  
I will smile until my face hurts…or hurts more,if that can be possible.**

"**Well,I've done that once, not too long ago and I said that I double his salary and for my luck…he didn't accepted. So how lucky you think you are today?"  
Now…I know that my face has no expression at all…but still …If I go there…with Sasuke…the whole day, he as the cashier and me going to much,have to speak and do stuff and I don't remember my own name…can't be something more bad than Hell cause I am in it! **

"**Mourning Naruto."  
"Mourning…"  
I wasn't so enthusiast and I know that I look at him like I am dead and I just escape my own grave somehow..he cares…or he acts like it.**

"**Naruto…did you slept?"  
"Why?"  
"Cause you look really tired…"  
Oh…do you think I look tired? Cause if I think a little, who's fault it is that I didn't slept two days and my stomach…oh…now if I think more, didn't eat either.**

"**Skip breakfast?"**

**I am gonna fucking kill this bastard! **

**It's a line It's a line Here it's a line so get used to it cause here it's a line it's a line it's a line line line **

"**Can you move more slower?"  
If she talks more, my head will explode…I fell like a mummy cause I walk like a zombie! But zombie don't have to carry clothes!...Do they?  
"Boy,you are testing my nerves."  
"And you are testing mine two…"  
"Did you said something?"  
"I said that…Do you want any clothes but this?"  
"No,I will call you if I need something else."  
"Fine."  
Now,I am getting crazy, it's another rich annoying lady that keeps running me all over this fucking store for her clothes that she keep trying and trying and she just buys all that fits her better …and I don't say just three clothes…so that is why I have to shut up! Madame said that she is a loyal customer so I have to be nice with her cause she buys a lot from here but come on! Even if I yell at her or something, she will never remember my name for God's sake!**

"**Naruto?"  
"A…Yes?"  
Lately my head is in such a rush but still so tired…that I think so much that I can't hear the reality and most of it, all day I found myself being on the same chair thinking and Sasuke waking me up cause I look out of space or almost falling from the chair cause I am fucking tired!**

"**She didn't let you to go home,no?"  
"Kind of."  
"But why didn't you slept again this night …for real,you do too much effort to don't be tired.." **

"**Doesn't matter…"  
If I say…'Because you say just stupid things and make me can't sleep or eat at all and it's all your fault' it won't do nothing right,just upset him…**

"**Oh…so you…"  
Now,he has an idea and most of 'his' ideas…are wrong.**

"**So I..?"  
"Did somebody make you to stay awake all night?"  
Now I am getting pissed and I don't know why but I am felling like telling the truth.**

"**Yes."  
"Oh…so…I guess…you won't com tomorrow because of him…"**

**Him?Who?What?  
"Him?"  
"Well…let me say it more clearly …did somebody…I don't know…maybe…."  
I don't know why he doesn't say the words he mean but still,he moves his hands in some ways that I understand what he said and I am really surprised that I even leave that freaking idea.  
"Are you crazy?"  
"Well…you look tired…so…"  
"Sasuke…I will say this just once..nobody…fucking fucked me two nights and that's not why I didn't slept."  
"Oh…ok."  
I see jealousy?  
"But still…"  
He annoys me…Why can't he leave it like how it is?**

"**Still?"  
"Why you…"  
"Sasuke,stop it,I am sick of it,you don't care and If I tell you, it won't compensate the sleep I've lost,ok?"  
"I want to know…"  
Now…that is fucking weird and annoying.**

"**No you don't"  
"I do"  
"No you don't"  
"I do"  
I will fucking kill him…  
"You…"  
"I am not in six grade so please can you tell me?"  
Why the fuck is so important for him?  
"Boy!I want you to help me carry these!"  
"Coming."  
I get up,really amazed that I get up so quickly and try to get to the changing rooms but when I pass Sasuke he grabs my hand…somehow forcibly…**

"**What?"  
"You don't go until you tell me."  
Now ,he is forcing the note.**

"**Why is this a big deal anyway."  
"I want to know."  
"Why?"  
"Boy!I am waiting!"  
"Sorry,I am com…"  
He rush me to the inventory room,like he is threaten by a animal or I am being pushed by one…**

"**Sasuke what the hell are you do…"  
I was cut off by lips and being pushed harder on the wall behind me, he was dominating and pushing me more, and grabbing my hair…taking my breathe…every protest I want to make at the mill seconds that he left to move his head…I couldn't, I just couldn't speak..**

**Finally…when he let go off me,I look at him,me breathing hard.**

"**Sasuke what is gotten into you?"  
"Hn..."  
He smirks, just that like a '.' In a middle of the sentence.**

"**And what is that suppose to mean?"  
"What you want to mean."  
Can mean a lot of things that I don't really want to think of it…**

"**I have to go back to the annoying lady so…"**

**When I manage to walk, he push me on the wall again, looking at me, being three centimeters away from my mouth.**

"**Sasuke what do you.."**

"**You didn't slept or eat because of me."  
That caught me off guard. Am I being so predicable?**

"**What are you saing?"  
Is obviously that I don't lie very good and not very good at acting either…**

"**If you wanted me that bad…you could call me, you know…"  
Wanting him? What? Where is this conversation going…don't know, don't like.**

"**Are you crazy? I don't.."  
"Give me one reason."  
"One reason for what?"  
"For not wanting me."  
Now…my head explodes, so does my heart ,still being three centimeters away from my mouth…Reason…for not wanting him…reason …a reason…the only reason I keep rounding my head against it from the day I met him is that he is a boy but why? I don't want to say that to him but I have to…I want to stop it…I don't…why I can't decide?  
**

**Sorry I didn't finish all but I am really kind of out of what he should say or shoud not ,so who has ideeas ,help me ,and reviw for the freedom of my soul:D and I am sorry but I won't umpload to soon cause time,never enaught. of ideeas so help me!3. Problems and problems so hope to get reviws ... **


	7. Chapter7: Cold outside,warm inside

Oke…I am sure that anybody would notice the fact that some of the chapter starts with "chapter 4..blah blah" and the truth is that is chapter 5…well I mistake the things a little and my beta still didn't reached this story but will soon so I am sorry for that the order is correct as I put it. I am sorry for this …mistake. Well…Finally chapter 7 that gave me too many headaches: D and I had a writer blockage (yeah…I know, again) and now I am ready to write this. So…thank for reading.

…

This is wrong. I know… I am in my room and I am staring at my own closet.

What is wrong? I want to choose my clothes for my "date". If a date with two men's can be named date…

I don't want to go but still…I just look at my clothes, probating one and then two and if I think better…I don't think there is a single thing that I didn't tried.

Today is Friday and it's 6 , night time. The date starts at 7 and I will arrive there in 15 minutes … I had been at work today and Sasuke too and…the single thing that is killing my mind is:" Give me a one reason…for not wanting me."  
I couldn't answer and he did…with his lips and tongue.

I fell raped and still in love, confused, abused, and it's like we are together already and….What am I thinking? I have a date with him after one hour…just one hour. And I don't know if I should go. What should I wear…what…

No. (I go in the living room…that is connected with my room,(not very big apartment) and I turn the tv on and I sit in my comfortable couch.

Time passes is..6. 30 already but I won't move…no. That won't happen no.

Even if the tv is turned on …Nobody is looking at it. Naruto is staring intently at the clock and then 3 sec of the tv. Four minutes for the clock.

6. 50 I won't give up.. I won't …and maybe I am not the only one that won't come. Maybe he was just playing with me and even if he looked so serious …he won't come, he won't…no for me, no…

6.56 But what if he does? I won't ever know…If…no. That's it… I will look at him for a very far distance and if he doesn't shows up, I will say that I didn't come either. Yeah…but what will I wear?  
6.59 I don't have time for that.

Chapter 7: Cold outside, warm inside

I random choose something to wear… and to be sure I won't be recognized (bright blood hair) , I put a hat I found in my closet…it's grey with a little black lines on it and it looks like I am a thief but it's cold outside and it's almost raining so I put the hood of my jacked that is totally black over my thief hat and now I look completely like a thief.

I hope nobody will arrest me because I am at the meeting place. It's in the middle of the town. Full with stores, it's like a big round street dedicated for it. In the middle of this street is a big artificial fountain and it's very beautiful here if you ask me. But there are no many people because is cold but you can see people rushing to go in their warm homes…in the matter of fact is the end of November, the children can' wait for December, or for Christmas, you can already see children with their parents looking at the toys stores windows. For me is sad. I will spend my Christmas with …me. It's just another sad lonely night. I am used to be alone but in Christmas it's harder to be alone, that time supposes to be spent with family, friends, and the ones you love. But nobody loves me…

I was there, in the cold , looking at the big fountain , hiding myself after people and after a store. It was the perfect point from where I could see the fountain. Those thoughts of Christmas and loneliness hurt my heart. I felt lonely and Sasuke won't come. I know it. I can go now… Why am I doing here in the first place? It's 7. 10 But…he won't. I am intended to be alone, always. I will always be…

"Hey! Dobe! Where are you going?"

I turned around to finally leave this cold place. When I entirely given up to all I just couldn't stay here anymore, he just yell for me to come back. I felt troubled. I felt sad. But when I turned around to face him…I let a tear to fall down. My pain was too big for me to move.

But I just stand there with my tear and looked at him. Dressed with a big black jacket, with a big grey scarf around his neck, and with his ruffled black hair, he tries to catch his breath… he ran to came here and when he arrived he found me leaving…I am sorry.

"Sasu…"  
I couldn't finish, one tear could be from the cold but the next 10 tears couldn't. I put my hands on my face to get them off. I turned around to don't let him see me.

"Hey…why are you crying?"

"I am sorry."  
"For what? Hey…"  
He moved me for me to face him again , he pulled gently my hands away from my face to see my tears and then he hugged me… and then he spoke… so innocent …so low…I was so hurt and so happy.

"Please…don't cry."

_Review or I will cry. :D _


	8. Chapter8:I will go to Heaven,unlucky me

I couldn't face him; I couldn't face the fact that I was the one who feared of all, I was the one wrong. But this is how is suppose to be, it was too much, that incident …that…heaven that transformed to hell.

"Please…don't cry."

Yesterday… the picture of the two of us, me crying, he holding me, it was like time stopped for us, and then he kissed me, I don't know who seen it but for the first time, I didn't cared how I was seen, I was with him, so it didn't mattered.

Even if I heard voices around us, some were speaking, some were laughing, some were swearing, and others were running.

I didn't want to move an inch, his embrace was so warm, his kiss didn't let anger or the humiliation to enter in my head, or in my heart.

All that I wanted to hear were his moans, all I wanted to fell, were his arms around me and his lips. I didn't care…and then I get scared.

Chapter8: I will go to Heaven, unlucky me

After that, I end up at his place. He was living alone or no one was there that night. Either way, I didn't want to ask anything that may not seem right in that moment but I was kind of released that I didn't had to face anybody that seemed more normal than me and him.

If someone asks: "Why am I in his house?"  
It was supposed to be a date but not me going at his house. Now I am standing on a couch and I am searching in the dark to see a trace of him coming back because he just let me alone for him to go to the kitchen to get some drinks.

He comes back and he sits beside me, giving me something, some kind of juice, but it doesn't matters anyway.

"I want to know why."  
"Why? What?"  
"Why did you start crying?"  
That was bad. It was the only subject in the world that I didn't want to discus in that moment and with him the most. I couldn't find an answer myself, so what should I tell him?  
"Well… it was nothing, it just happened…"  
"People don't cry because they don't have what to do and say: Hey, let's start crying. Tell me why."

"Why do you want to know?"  
" Because I want to know."  
That wasn't good or bad, I don't know how but I got pissed off by the fact that he cared too much, people didn't cared about my feelings but I wasn't that dump to don't think that he just wants to know if the reason was him, and I won't get him another gold victory like I did before. No way!  
"Well, you don't need to know."  
"Ah!"  
He rose from the couch, put his drink on the table, walks through the big almost no light room and looked at the window, after a couple of seconds, he sits beside me again.

"It was my fault?"  
He closed his eyes at those words like he was admitting it to himself and it hurt. I thought he was proud of my crying for him but he wasn't…he felt guilty.

"No...It..."  
I couldn't finish the sentence; I couldn't find my words…

"It doesn't matters, it just happened, is not your fault."  
This subjects is getting on my nerves and on my heart, his face looks hurt, his heart looks hurt…and if I think a little…it wasn't his entire fault, I thought he wasn't going to come, but it was the fault of all those happy families too, and lovers, I didn't have none, no family, no lover.

He looks away a moment, and then looks back at me who was looking at him, waiting for a word, an expression, something to say, like: it's alright, I believe you.

Even if I know that he would lie but I couldn't see his face, my eyes suddenly closed without my will, he was kissing me, putting the drink that was in my hands on the little table beside the couch, and then he get closer to me, pulling me down, setting himself on top of me.

"What are you…?"  
I wanted to finish the sentence, even if he wouldn't listen, or stop, it was okay outside, and I don't know why because there were people watching us and here is just the two of us and still…I am afraid.

He started biting my neck, pulling me more down on the couch, he was already on top of me, kissing, licking and biting all the flesh he could see, my neck was attacked.

"Sasu…"  
Now it was my mouth, I couldn't say or move a thing; my face was burning like the sun in the middle of summer.

I don't know what to do. But then I get it. Why he was doing so much…

He started getting my gray T-shirt off, rising it a little at a time, my face was burning at all of his action, and when he completely succeed, me- unable to move, face burning, he got my T-shirt off, and started to kiss and bite my neck again.

Then he started to do it again but this time…with my nipples. I wanted him to stop just because I felt so embarrassed by all. To kiss started to feel fine but now he goes to my belly and I started to think, getting the red burning from my face and remain a little black and white, thinking just a little: Not now, this is wrong…no…please…stop.

I didn't say a thing because I thought that he would stop and he did it, kissing my lips again, so his lips stopped but not his hands, trying to pull off my pant's zipper, touching with the other hand. I felt so many things that I didn't know what to fell anymore but it had to stop…

"No, please don't…"  
He stopped, I was breathing hard but so he was, then I realized that he was topless too; did I get it off or him?  
"Why?"  
He was breathing on my lips again, didn't let me think too much because he seen the uncertainty that was trembling in my voice.

Starting again…kissing and biting my neck and his hands on my…

"Sasuke, please let's stop...Please…"  
It hurt to know it hurt him, because he was doing all this just after I cried, and now I felt like he was comforting me, and that was a little wrong because Sasuke isn't like that but why is he…looking…so…sad?  
He looked at me, stopped it all, and then got up off me. And go to another room, I was left there wandering in the dark room. I know I said to stop but why did he leaved…I can't, I just don't know what to do.

"Come here."  
When I wasn't looking at the door, and I given up after some good minutes, he was at the frame door looking at me, still topless and still…not smiling, his voice didn't seem warm, and the words were cold, freezing, like his heart had just closed for me with a locket, and he just leaved to throw the key away.

I followed him and entered to his bedroom. I didn't know what was happening but when he sits on his bed and looked at me, understanding what I was thinking, he started explaining.

"It's late, you can't sleep on the couch because you will freeze to death, believe me I tried, and I won't do anything to you so sleep."

It felt bad just because his words were so cold. I reached the bed, and let my head rest on the pillow, even if the bed was warm, the air felt heavy and my heart feels abandoned.

"Sasuke…I am sorry."

He was beside me, sitting on his but on the bed, with his eyes looking at the ceiling.

"For what?"  
"Because I didn't …I couldn't…"  
"Are you kidding me?"  
Now… he looked at me, a little furious, a little serious, a little…entertained.

"You want to say that it is your first time and you didn't want to do it with me or because I am a guy or that you want to wait until you will get married?"  
"I …"  
"You are 19 or 20?

"Why are you…?"  
"I am sorry, I forget that you aren't gay and you don't like me that you hate me or it is your first time with a guy that may be. No?"  
He didn't say it ironically, he was more speaking with himself, but I felt hurt, why did we must do it now? Why couldn't he just say that he will wait for me?

"Why do you want to do it so much? Why now?"  
He was looking at me with some eyes I never seen before, and it hurt me, but it were the most innocent and hopeless eyes I ever seen before. Just eternal black.

"Because…"  
He looked at the ceiling again, didn't looked at me one bit, and I just sit there waiting patiently for his words but didn't came out until I specked again.

"Because?"  
" I am leaving."

Thanks for the only review I finally get. Thank youuuuuuuuuu…. You don't know how much I wanted to get a review. I am so pissed off because people read this thing! But don't review so thank you. And I am sorry if it get a little more drama than you expected( I even surprised myself) Hope I didn't or won't disappoint you and I hope you still read it. And thank you again for review.

So other people (the people who didn't review and I am mad of… please come on, have mercy, say a word! (No bad I wish) but just say…hy! Okay?: D


	9. Chapter9:The empty heart

Seven months. Seven months since he left me here. My days are black and cold. My mind is as empty as my heart. I am alone. So alone…that if someone would tell me that I have just one day to live, I would smile from the bottom of my heart with all the sincerity I have left. I know that if that would happen, I won't fell sadness, I would fell…happy.

I am filled with nothing. I wish I could understand what I want to do, what I need, but what I want and what I need…is gone.

And what hurts the most, what makes me emptier than how I am right now is when I think about it and end my lines of thoughts with a sentence: He is gone and he won't ever come back.

Chapter 9: The empty heart

I am in my room eating, again. Looking at nothing but my closed window. It has no sense, because it's like I am blind, I look outside but I am not seeing a thing. I can't be attentive, I can't concentrate, all that fills my emptiness is the food that I eat and it's too much because that is the only thing that I did lately, I really don't care if I get fat. He won't see me so does it matter if someone else will?

After all… if I think at the day he left, it hurts… he left with an imperceptible hurtful smile. I spent my Christmas looking at the sky and hoping that he is doing the same. Letting one tear to escape from time to time and hoping that I will go over it but for the time being to let myself relieved and to let myself cry but that is what I said then and that is what I say now…tomorrow, I won't fell alone, I won't think about him, I won't eat, and I will feel free to smile… but this thought has no confidence, is more weaker and weaker as one month pass by, and until now…. I count seven and it doesn't fells like the end of it.

It's already three in the morning and I should sleep…I walked all day long and everything hurts and my brain and body is tired but in the same time, I don't fell a thing. I wonder how this goes…

I am in my bed on my pillow but why can't I sleep? I wonder… if I don't sleep, I won't dream,…that means that I won't see him…but maybe I won't dream him like the last time, but I want too… I don't understand anymore…but of one thing I am sure…I don't want to sleep anymore.

Again, in the kitchen, eating all that I can see and grab, looking at a point in the air that doesn't even exists because it's nothing there that can be seen for my eye. I am nothing. I am nobody. I fell nothing. I want nothing. This situation is so annoying … just because I don't know why I am acting like this…

Why I eat even if I don't want to eat? Why do I sleep if I don't want to sleep? Why do I walk if I don't want to walk? Why do I talk if I don't want to talk? Why do I live if I don't want to live? And the most troublesome question is …Why do I love if I don't want to love?

I wonder…why? 

I should go to work… Is already 7 in the morning, until I get there… it will be 7:30, 7:40. And the shop opens at 8. I can get a coffee on the way and it will make time pass quicker. Oh… How can I eat so much? I don't think I have food left in this house …I think I eat from 5 and it's 7…or did I eat so slow that I didn't notice… did I? Does it matters?  
This coffee is cold. Shouldn't it be hot?

Am I going crazy? My stomach fells so full but I don't care…I fell empty.

Work.

"Naruto! Wake up!"

Oh…I didn't sleep, and now I felled asleep on the chair? This is bad…

"You know…if you sleep here, you won't help. Go home, get some rest and come tomorrow."  
"No…it's fine."  
If I go home, I don't know what I could do more than to eat and to look at the world wide world from my little closed window…I don't want to go home…to be alone… but even if I stay here…I fell alone…it doesn't matters that people are talking to me, worrying about me… I don't care…He is not…he is… he is…

"Naruto! That's enough! Go home!"  
"Leave me alone! I don't want to!"  
I just yelled at Gaara ….so loud that it felt awkward looking at him with an expression I never seen at him. I know that my head isn't here; I know that I am no help but what …what should I do? What could I do?

"I am sorry…Gaara…"  
"It's fine…I know that this is because of Sasuke but he is gone Naruto. You should start to get over it and live your life."  
"I know…I am sorry…"

I think about it over and over again, every day, every minute, and every second. I said his name in my thoughts more than I said mine in one year and when somebody else said it out loud. It sounds different… Why he can say his name out loud without hesitation? Why am I afraid to say it out loud…. Why it fells so wrong for someone to say it…Is like a name for someone who's dead…well…I begin to think that for me…it feels like he died…or like…I died.  
"Even if you say that you are sorry, you should try…"  
"I know but not today…"  
"Why not today?"  
"I can't…tomorrow."  
"That is what you said yesterday."

"Naru…"  
"I am going home…sorry, tomorrow, I will be attentive and energetic, okay?" smile.  
"Okay…Bye."  
"Bye."  
Why? Why did I smile for? Why did it hurt? Because I lied? I don't feel happy. I don't fell. I should go home already…and do what?

…

I am at the subway station. It will take some minutes until it arrives but if I stay here…it will be the same, wouldn't it?  
I just get outside. I should go to the store in the corner. I should buy a book and start reading something…maybe I won't get fat from it but I won't sleep. Better than getting fat but I don't think I can be attentive …why it is so…

Sasuke?

He is there. Talking with some old man, he just asked him something. Why can't I move? He goes away. In other direction…no…come back…please…come…

"Sasu…"  
I can't yell. My voice is as laud as silence. I am afraid…if he sees me now…what should I say to him? What should I do now? He is so far away from me, he couldn't see me from the point he was, and now he is gone, again, now…why didn't I stopped him?

Home, bathroom

Why? Why am I so stupid? Why didn't I say a thing to him? Why didn't I stop him when I had the chance? I am the fool here… I am the one who done it all wrong…eating so much…I don't want to know how I look…I may be too fat for his taste right now…maybe that's why he didn't recognized me…but maybe he did see me and he didn't want to come to me…maybe…

It's my entire fault.  
"You stupid brat! I hate you!"

I am looking at myself in the mirror and I swear myself. Making me ugly, stupid and all the things that can get out of my mouth that means I am stupid, a foul, a fat person, a loser, nothing.

I could have stopped at swearing myself in the mirror but I didn't. I got the razor from my bathroom closet and wanted to cut my veins from my left hand. But I end up on the floor looking at what I just wanted to do and start crying.

Letting the razor on the floor without cutting anything. I should be proud that I stopped but I am not. My hands on my face. Tears falling down quicker and quicker. I once read in a magazine that if you cry, you will feel better after. But my pain has no point I can reach to calm myself down.

I don't know how much I stayed on the floor but I couldn't get up. All that I heard were my screams, my agonizing voice, felling my tears wetting my face, hands, and clothes.

The echoes of my pain screams filled the empty air, the empty rooms, the empty house, the empty heart.


	10. Chapter10:How?

Chapter 10: How?

"Hey…"  
"Hm?"  
"Gaara?"  
"Yes."  
"I want to ask you something …"  
"What?"  
"Well…I was wondering…is just a question but I want you to be honest with your answer…"  
"Yeah, yeah..."  
"Gaara….do you think….that I…."  
I am at Gaara's place. How did I get here? Well… my answer is that this is a good question.

I am sitting on a chair that is in front of his desk. Where he is standing at. Trying to download a movie I said that I will watch with him … but this downloading takes too long already and something started bugging me from a time and I have to ask him but he is so concentrated at that computer that I know that he is not obeying my talking….

"Gaara…"  
"Hm…"  
"Please, be attentive…"  
"I am."  
"No…you're not."  
"I am."  
"Gaara…do you think that I …"  
He smiled and I looked at the computer, he was at the messenger and someone named "Neji666" wrote something to him and he smiled and started writing back to him. I am so serious and he doesn't even care that I am in a such a bad situation…

"Gaara…"  
"Hm…"  
Now…this is the last drop!

"Gaara!"  
"God! Naruto! What? Tell me already!"  
"You don't even look at me…come on …this is…"  
I rise from the chair and headed to the door….we yelled at each other…I lost Sasuke, I lost myself and now I am losing him too. I am alone, all alone…  
"Naruto…come back…come on…"  
"No. It's okay; I don't have the mod for a movie, anyway…"  
"You told me you will watch it with me, today…you promised."  
We are in the hall. I am trying to put my shoes on and he is in front of me, leaning against the wall that is at his right, looking at me with his green eyes, full of guilty…

"I am sorry…some other time, okay?"  
"No…Naruto…"  
He looked at the ceiling and then back at me and letting a heavy breath like he just let a heavy felling out in the air.

He sits himself on the floor, sitting on his knees, stopping my hands from tying my shoes. I looked up at him, he is looking in my eyes and I did the same, without any will but then we stopped.

It all stopped. Hearing his heart beat , felling his breathe on my face, being so close…if felt weird and it remind me of him…it hurts…why it still hurts? How it can still hurt?

"Gaara…"  
"Yes?"  
"We should move…"  
"Really? Why?"  
Why? He is looking in my eyes, like he sees trough me, is like he fells my feelings. He is still holding my hands. And why is he extending the moment…asking stupid questions. Why? Because we should move, of course…it's weird… why is he…

"Ga..."  
I can't speak; I can't move, I can't breathe, I am shocked, I am kissed, I am betraying him, I don't know what to do, but I wish that it all could stop just to understand how it all went to this.

End. Chapter 10 ending of course. I can't believe that I wrote 10 chapters! How?( how ironic that this is the name of the chapter but I didn't wrote how because of how did I wrote 10 chapters but because it fits the chapter) I am proud of myself(even if it's a sin) I know that maybe someone will find some horrible mistakes of grammatical things and all or don't like it at all but I wrote 10 chapters : )) so it's okay.

Well…I know that this may be the shortest chapter ever and it all was so sad until now and now this is all so confusing and all but I want to keep you guys (or girls …I don't want to offend nobody) entertained. I want everybody confused! Muhhaaha! (Kidding).

The thing I wanted to say is that I wanted to write something else, longer that this chapter and a complete else idea. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this! But well…my fingertips moved, my head can't take control and do it again and put it how it supposed to be and to change the hole drama and confusing thing. But I am a drama queen. So...sorry: D I really am. I hate it because I couldn't control but it's more interesting this way…no?

So again…people review… please… I have more than 1100 readers in total but just one single person reviewed. .thank you for reading. But honestly say…just… it's good. It's bad!( I hope is not that bad but if that is your opinion) I don't care about grammar things! (My beta hasn't reached this story or this chapter so sorry). Thank you again and please…just say hy ...Come on, have mercy.


	11. Chapter11:He is getting married

Dedicated to Shinobi2491. Thank you for reviwing to me and for reading it and for likeing it. I hope I didn't surprized you too much with it. And I hope you like the ideea. It will become funnyer and then more drama ( yeah, I am overreacting). Enjoy and thank you again.

…

I wish I could move. But what I've just find out something that destroyed all of my strength. After Gaara kissed me, it was a weird atmosphere.

The good part is that he said he is sorry for kissing me and that it won't happen again. I didn't leaved and we watched the movie, together. When we agreed that we should sleep, I convinced him, somehow, that I will sleep on the couch and not in his bed. I couldn't go home because it was too late. In the end it all went good.

But the bad part is that I just find something that I wish I just wouldn't know for the rest of my life.

Chapter 11: He is getting married

Okay, I know he has 21 or 22, or 23 years… Okay….I don't even know he's age but getting married in France isn't what I imagined and another thing that I can't believe that he hasn't told me.

Even if I seen him on the street some months ago and he haven't told me he is in Japan either!

If his name wasn't Uchiha Sasuke, I wouldn't know at all about it. But him, being in some great family … he is on the online news and his wedding is in 3 days!

If I think better I haven't spooked with him a whole year but maybe he doesn't wants me to know, doesn't wants me to come…but this woman… she is perfect.

Black hair, green eyes, beautiful white skin, so elegant and skinny and for a plus, she did graduate from Harvard. She is rich, he is rich, and he came for this job at the store because he wanted to make his own money but he didn't need it. They are perfect for each other…

"Naruto?"  
"Yes?"  
I quickly exited the page where it was a big photo of the both of them kissing… Gaara must think I am disgusting…

"So …you find out?"  
He knows about it? He knows about it and he didn't tell me?

"Wait a minute, you known about this all this time that he is getting married and you haven't told me?"

"Naruto…I…"  
"I can't believe you! You know about it and you didn't said a single fucking word!"  
"He told me to don't tell you!"  
"What?"  
He talked with Gaara, that's why Gaara had been so attentive with me, and kissed me to make me confused or to forget Sasuke? But still… even if Sasuke told him not to tell me…haw could he?  
"Naruto, don't cry…I am sorry…"  
Cry? Why… am I crying?

He hugs me but somehow he comforts me…now…I can cry… can I?

After 30 minutes

Right now, I drink coffee, even if it's 2 in the morning and I am on the couch and I talk to Gaara. To what I find out until now…Sasuke made Gaara promise that he won't tell me a word and that no matter what happens , he will have to take care of me.

My conclusion is: He left me and run with another women and still he wants' me to be safe, heart and body, in some way. But even so…he knows that if it's not him to take care of me, I don't want somebody else to, even if I know why he did all this.

And the other thing I find out is that his fiancée's name is Alice. She is very smart, elegant and rich. But I don't even know her properly and all that I find out about her is that she is the perfect woman but…for some reason or another I hate her! Even if she doesn't even knows that I exist…

"Do you feel better?"  
"Yeah… I am sorry that I yelled at you…"  
"No, it's nothing. I disserve it. I should have told you from the start. I know you love him Naruto but he is getting married. The only thing you can do now…is to go at the wedding and shout –Stop the wedding!-"

…..

"Oh no…Naruto…don't tell me…"  
I smiled with all of my strength that I had left and I can fell that my face become bright and positive.

"Tickets. We need tickets."  
"We?"  
"You have to take care of me. No?"  
"Naruto, tell me you're kidding."  
"If I don't do this, I swear that I will throw myself from the highest building."  
Even if I talk about killing myself, my smile doesn't loosed his bright and I know that this scares Gaara more than I think but I won't go alone to Paris. And I have no idea about how I suppose to go there and from what I know; Gaara had been to Italy, England, Romania, and France.

"Please…Gaara… I really need to do this. Help me…Please."  
…

"..Okay…"  
Puppy eyes never fail.

60 minutes later

Is 3 30 in the morning and we are still awake. Gaara tries to find tickets online and to take the plane as soon as possible.  
"Naruto. This is impossible and not to mention that it takes more (or less) than 12 hours from here to France."  
"We have to try. It must be a way…"  
"There isn't…"  
"Please, just try…"

5 in the morning  
"I've done it! Naruto! Wake up!"  
I felled asleep and I was waked up…somehow… I heard him yelling at me in my nightmare where Sasuke was getting married and I lost him to that Demon Woman! She put a spell on him! I am sure of it!

"You found tickets?"  
"Yes. We will fly tonight. The plane is on 8 and we will arrive somehow in Saturday afternoon or in the evening."  
On Sunday is the wedding. Now is Friday. Tonight at 8 we fly with the plane. We will arrive in 12 (or more) hours. And we will arrive in the afternoon or in the evening. And we still have to find out in what church the wedding is and not to mention at what time! This is such a mess; we have to start packing and to get some sleep…

No matter what happens, Sasuke is not getting married.

Okay, end of chapter 11. I wrote chapter 10 some days ago and I already do the next one but I had this idea (even if a complete different idea of the one I previously had.) I hope you don't think this is like drama soap but this is how it would all work out and everybody together! I hope you liked it until now and you will read the next one because I promise I will make it worth it.( Hint: It will be funny). So… people…review. Thanks for reading. Bye. (for now)


	12. Chapter12:Misplaced

Chapter 12: Misplaced

We are in the airplane. And I don't know if it's because I am stressed or tired, but I've never been more annoyed in my entire life.

My seat is in the plane's middle, and it's very good for me because I am scared of heights, but just when I look at what distance is from me to earth, and there is no window around me, so my fear is not very severe.

If it could be my fear of heights the reason why I am feeling so annoyed, then I would choose it probably without hesitations the fear.

"Mommy! I want chocolate! Mommy!"

This boy who begun to yell at his mother from the moment when he came and sat down. He is sitting at my right and he wants to eat something at every fucking 3 minute. And if his mother doesn't give him food, he threatens her that he will begin to shout until when everybody will begin to stare at her.

It begun to be very hard to ignore. At my left, is Gaara, which sleeps peacefully and without problems from the moment we arrived. He got some big headphones at which he listens to music and is laud enough for him to don't hear a thing. But I do hear everything!

I don't want to bother him, I know he is tired. He found us tickets; he found a room available and is an extremely cheap hotel, and all kinds of stuff which wouldn't pass through my mind. He did all these things for me…

But I am feeling guilty because he sleeps so peacefully and I don't have other choice but to listen this child that has the biggest mouth on the planet.

"Mommy! I am hungry!"

Ignore him…Okay. Sasuke's wedding. I have to stop that wedding.

But the question is how… Once we arrive in France and then we will let our luggage at the hotel, I still have to discover at what church the wedding is. I don't know what church in France could be so important for Sasuke to have the wedding there. He didn't even mention his desire to have his wedding in France, not even once when he was with me…home…with him...

"Mommy!"

I gotta focus! The church, at which church can be?…but how can I …Bingo!"

A young woman that sits on the seat in front of mine has a newspaper that has an article about Sasuke's wedding. I saw a picture with him and a title that contains the name Uchiha.

All that I have to do it's to loan it.

When I leaned forward closer, I felt like the plane had leaned forward with me, and I found myself embracing her chair. Without being noticed by her. But no one felt what I just felt. It may be my fear of heights that is playing with me…

I inhaled deeply in my lungs, and then I closed my eyes and then I opened them again and I exhaled all the air I did inhaled in one single breath. I am ready to ask and I sat myself back, on my own chair.

"Excuse me…can I bor…"

"Mommy! I want juice! Mommy!"

Ignore him…

"Excuse me…"

"Mommy! I want …"

Ignore…

"Excuse…"

"Mommy."

…

"Shut the fuck up!"

They stopped. There are people here that read, write, they are sleeping or eating, or simple talking, all kinds of things that humans can do. But they stop. And looked at me with cold eyes.

How am I the only one that's rude? How am I the only one who doesn't belong here? That's what their eyes tell me...

"Excuse me; can I borrow the newspaper for two minutes?"

"Sure."

"Thanks... Here"

Gaara has borrowed the newspaper, and then he gave it to me.

I feel stupid, but I feel thankful...

"Thank you."

He didn't answer but I know… He is looking at the paper that is in my hands, we are searching intensely for the page that interests us. And I find it.

This article doesn't contain anything about the church location.

"Oh…geez…"

I was ready to complain about it a minute ago because everybody now hates me and it was all for nothing.

Then I look at him, he is looking at the article.

His intense gaze made me curios so I looked again. I search for something that might be useful for us but I can't figure out at what he is looking with that gaze. I stare at him, but he is still looking at something from the article… I lost my patience...

"What?"

I looked once again at the article and my eyes locked on the picture that is on the middle of the page.

When the newspaper was in the hands of the young woman that is sitting in front of me, I sow the picture of Sasuke but only Sasuke and now I see it completely.

Is a picture of Sasuke and her, smiling… they seem to be so happy…

"Momm…"

I immediately raised my eyes from the newspaper and I started to look around me.

The child that annoyed me so hard, is so skinny, the woman gave him only slices of apples, nothing else. The woman is skinny too and she smiles kindly at her child that still yells. They seem to be poor, I wonder how they had money for the tickets and all the…

The reality hit me like a bullet.

I look around me at all the people that do completely different things in their own way. They seem so calm and peaceful...

I look around me and see all the people who stared at me with cold eyes and now I know why…I am different…I feel different…

After I looked again around me like searching for something, my eyes stopped when I looked again at Sasuke's picture.

This article is about how much they love each other, how happy they are and the picture…

Their picture… their smiles…their happiness…

"What am I doing here?"


	13. Chapter13:Dead

Chapter 13: Dead

We landed after some hours of pure torture for my troubled mind.

They all seem to be so happy to be on earth again, just the fact that we are alive had made everybody to smile, as they put their feet on the ground.

And as for my fear of heights, I would have jumped at how happy I should feel, because I have finally arrived here whole, but I didn't, and I don't feel happy, for three simple reasons:

The first one is because that even if I am alive, Gaara will kill me when I will tell him that I gave up on everything. I considered all the factors and I decided that if I really love him, then I want to see him happy, I want him to be happy, and if he is happy with her then I am happy too.

The second one is that I don't care about what will happen to me, we arrived here and I hear their voices, I hear them saying :"Welcome to France" and all those stuff and Gaara wants me to be attentive, but I can't, when my entire being is a big hole.

The third reason is that he will soon expect me to take action but I don't want to take action.

"Hey! Naruto! You are thinking too much! Are you sick?"

Normally, I would feel offended, and I would probably begin to defend myself with some seconds ago.

But I remained silent, and I stare at the ground as I did all day long.

"Naruto!"

This time, the tone of his voice was serious and severe.

But it haven't scared me one bit.

"Open your eyes! Now!"

He took my head, and lifted it, in some position to be able to look just forward. And what I see is what probably the reason why people come in France, The Eiffel Tower.

Even if he took his hands back, I stood there in that position, staring with gratefully amazement at the enormous divinity that is in front of my eyes.

"Close your mouth."

He did, I couldn't.

We arrived at the hotel and I can't deny, France is more than my words can express.

But I tried hard to pay attention to what surrounded me, just to don't think at the reason why I am here, about reality.

But I was forcefully and without mercy, dragged back from heaven to hell, that is my reality.

"Now, it's time to search for Sasuke. No?"

Silence cut my breathing, but I need to tell him. He needs to know...

"Gaara, I ..."

Ring Ring

The phone from of our room started ringing just when I was about to let the hurricane to explode.

"Yes? ...I'll be there in two minutes."

He closed the phone, and looked to me and started talking.

"I need to get out to clear some things, so you better tell me how we will find him because we don't have much time left."

"..."

He got out in the next second. How can I tell him: „I want to go back to Japan." How can I tell him: " I am sorry but I can't ruin Sasuke's life." How can I tell him: „Forgive me, but I love him too much to take him away from his happiness." How could I tell him: „I feel dead?"

Thanks for reading. Reviews please?


	14. Chapter14:Wrong answer

Chapter 14: Wrong answer

I lay on my bed and I stare at the white and clean ceiling. My head hurts. Gaara didn't come back and I don't know what to do. There are so many questions in my head and I feel that I can't answer not even one of them with a concrete solution.

What am I doing here? How could I be so insensitive? I was thinking just about myself, no? How could I put everything on Gaara's shoulders? How could I tell him how I feel now? Will he understand how I feel? And Sasuke...

"Naruto, I've found it!"

"You found what?"

"The church!"

I did not rose up when he said:' I found it' .But I rose up when I heard that he found the church.

"How?"

"I've been to France before, remember? I had a few friends with me then, and most of them remained here, I called them before we left, and they searched in the time we've made the trip to come here."

"Hm…"

"The name of the church is: Sacré Coeur. I think I've been there once."

„Gaara..."

„Let's go, now there must made the preparations for the wedding so they are there and we can talk to Sasuke before it can start."

Gaara came in front of me and took me by the arm; he is expecting me to move. He really looks energetic, but tired and somehow, strongly determined.

„I can't."

„You can't... what?"

"I can't do this."

"Are you kidding?"

"No, I am not kidding. I can't destroy Sasuke's life. I can't do this."

I put my head under the pillows and all that Gaara has did was to sit beside me.

"Naruto, listen to me."

I didn't rose up my head up but he lifted the pillow just to look in my eyes and all I did was to avoid his gaze.

"We are in France, now. Why are we in France?"

"Because I was stupid and…"

"Wrong answer."

He spoke over me.

"Because I can't understand when someone leaves you for …"

"Wrong answer."

He spoke over me again.

"Then what is the correct answer, you big genius!"

I was annoyed because he doesn't listens and I don't know why he became so sure of himself, when this is about my feelings too.

"You are in France, right in this moment, because you love Sasuke."

I blush, and I don't even know why. But his gaze remained serious and staring in my eyes. I can't avoid his gaze anymore.

"What are you saying? This is all too sudden, how…"

"You say that I think this of a sudden? Why the hell did you looked like you are almost dying all those months? Why the hell are you here then? Why do you lie to yourself? Why did you risk all? And now you gave up everything in two seconds? You tell me that you don't love him? And that you did everything all of a sudden?"

He rose up after he yelled and he is almost red because of the anger that has overwhelmed him in just ten minutes.

"Don't leave me."

I catched his hand before he could walk away. And he sit himself on the bed again and just stared at me. He wants something from me, but I don't know what.

"I am sorry, okay? I don't know what to do! I was so sure of myself before but when I saw him so happy and… what if this is what he really wants? What if he forgotten me and I destroy his marriage? I am a guy and she is a woman, this is how it's supposed to be! I am stupid and…I don't want to…"

"To?"

"To…"

I begin to cry after three or two words of my questions and exclamations; I don't know what to say anymore. My tears fall on his right hand that I hold with all the strength that I have in me just to be sure he won't leave, but I can't talk anymore. All I want to do is to cry.

"You may be right."

I raised my head when I heard him. The tone of his voice changed. And he looked somewhere in the corner in the room, he wasn't looking at me anymore, he seems deep in thought.

"But what costs you to try? Just risk Naruto! Like you've always done! Have you left your stubborn 'I want Sasuke back!' personality back in Japan? I can let you here to cry until the wedding will be finished, but you will regret it for the rest of your life."

I felt that something was in my neck, it blocked my body, it feels …heavy.

"He may be happy with her, happier than he is with you, but you will always wonder if he is happy or not, the papers will always write bad or good things, but I question it is what that person from the picture really feels in that way, all I want to say is that I will let you here, but if you decide that you will go to that church and teach Sasuke and that bitch a lesson then I will come with you."  
He didn't yelled, he didn't said his words shaking, like I've did, he just got up, he took his hand from my hands, and he ruffled my hair.

He looked in my eyes that still are in tears and got to the other bedroom and he closed the door after him.

I stood there staring at the hand that feels cold, and then I stared at the window that was closed and that has red flowers on her sill, and then I stared at the ceiling again with my left hand under my head and with the right hand in the air, staring at it.

And all that I was thinking was: ' Why do I always felt that the correct answer flows through my fingers just like the sand?'

To be continued…

I am sorry it took so much to write something so small, and I am really sorry, but I really had problems with family and stuff, I didn't had time, or the mood, even if I have an almost an complete idea about what will happen but I just can't write it but I wanted to write something and this was necessary even if it's not much and not 'wow' or something like that but it was 'necessary'.

Anyway I will apologize until I will actually write something more interesting and I promise that the next week that is coming, I will be free and I will write for all my stories, most of them are almost finished and I have an idea for each one of them, so I will ask for everyone patience and I am sorry.

Until then, if someone will review I will be the happiest person from this planet, believe me. And it will make me write faster :) (I am evil, I know but I am desperate too) well until then, thank you and I wish for your patience my dear reader.


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